"Ask Pops Lethal"

Since his words of wisdom have become such a hit on my facebook, it was only a matter of time before my friends started asking.  Here we go:

• Dear Pops Lethal: My friend Jim lives in California and recently bought a roll of Necco Wafers at a 99c store there. He was very upset because they were not what he remembered at all. I think they were stale. What should he do?

  tell jim theyre also stale here (in MA.)
  

  
  
•  Dear Pops Lethal: I am a Lesbian living in Fall River Ma and I cannot find a gf ... any suggestions ?
  

  advertise guaranteed not to get u pregnant.

  
  
• Dear Pops Lethal : I had a speeding ticket which i asked for a hearing, but then I forgot to go. What do I do ?
  

  no excuse pay the fine.

  
  
• Dear Pops Lethal, My old friend Jet refuses to put up a current picture of himself on facebook. How can I strongarm him into doing that ?

  tell him youll bring up his conviction on bestiality that should do the trick
  
  Dear Pops Lethal, my boyfriend introduced me as "This is Barbara" the other night. I got really angry. What should I do?  Signed, Wanted to Kill 
  Kick him in the balls and say, "This is from Barbara!"