From the always-informed Periodically Anachronistic.
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13 comments:
You are my muse!
What ARE those other rooms besides the bedroom and kitchen called again? I know you told me ... once. You know, the one where the TV is.
I LOVE her hair! I want that style! Just not that color - I've done red, I don't look good with it.
True story: When I graduated from college - at the lunch after the ceremony - my mother tried to make pleasant conversation with my father's newest wife, and Mom asked what rooms "Shark" (my pet name for her) was going to redo. Shark said "The kitchen and the bedroom, because that's where a woman does her best work." My mother, always proper, was appalled because Shark used "Ladies Room talk" at the table.
"Pert breasts" were a big asset in 1947. The only bosom augmentation technology consisted of those pointy bras that could put a man's eye out.
I once had a coworker tell me my boobs were "perky." He thought it was okay because he was married, but we all knew he was gay, so it was really okay.
If Sal from "Made Men" were a real person, he'd call your breasts, "delicious."
Cookie: How long did Father stay married to The Shark?
Long enough that she ruined the entire house, wrecked the family and sparked two law suits. And here is the most appalling aspect of here: she bought her wardrobe on - and it makes me sick to say this - QVC. Instead of sleek wool suits from Peck & Peck, her preferred outfit of choice was a bejewelled wind suit. It just makes me cringe.
Oh good god.
Well you have seen the picture of my mother on Doing Hard Time in Shaker Heights. My mother had fantastic style, a great lilt to her carriage and verve. Shark is just...someone who prefers bejewelled windsuits. Bon Wit Teller v. QVC.
And I haven't EVEN broached the subject of the other Stepmothers - including Unibrown Mary or Turning-Tricks-Betty.
Yes, I know! Oh, I eagerly await more family tales ... they're sort of the polar opposite of mine: upscale terrible whereas mine are just trashy terrible.
My mother complains that the new "Newlyed Game" is filth, and then she watches every second of it. . . But that's the worst thing I can say about good ol' Ma.
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