I started compiling a list of all the things I used to do while drinking. You know, beauty tips, decorating tips, things like that. I haven't decided what to with them ... illustrate them? A little book? Graphic novel? (By the way, I got my first rejection letter for my book! I guess I got my wings, as the old saying goes.) Here's a few:
DRUNKEN BEAUTY TIPS
eyemask
i need my eyemask
but i can see
the slits of light.
i have an idea!
i will scotch tape it to my face.
then i can't see any light.
dammit i can still see light over the bridge of my nose.
eyemask on, where is the tape, here are my cigarettes, i am in bed, i have to get this right before i pass out.
bathroom
just sleep on the bathroom floor:
1. the tiles are cool you don't have air conditioning
2. you won't puke in the hallway on the way from bed
3. you can walk in the front door and go right in.
a capital suggestion! the fluffy pink rug is good. a pillow would be an obvious sign of defeat. sometimes the life size frank sinatra over the toilet scares me in the dark. must get night light.
4. big claw foot tub = can sleep in when drunk and sunburned.
5. that gold glitter i threw on the wet paint walls sometimes sticks to me, i must remember to find a good glitter remover.
11 comments:
Some of my faves were the Sinatra songs you did for "The Midnight Sun":
"I've Got You Under My Stool", "Soused at the Border" and
"That ol' Devil Moonshine"!
What? No Melancholy Baby?
In Private Benjamin, Eileen Heckert is drunk in the scene where she takes a shower and ends up all dyed in blue and there is a wonder old gin swilling song going on in the background but I have no idea what it is.
I love that list of songs - "Strangers in the Night (Exchanging Glasses)" was one of my very favorites, along with "Zing! Went the Drink in my Glass" ... I'm really thinking graphic novel for these. Another one of my galpals sent me some of her tips.
Cookie - must find on the tubes!
I'm jealous of your tub!
Well, that was in Boston and it was a long time ago. But it WAS great - I painted it hot pink and decorated it with pictures of Jayne Mansfield! The bottom walls of the bathroom were black, and when the paint was wet, I threw gold glitter on it. It really was a great bathroom - all 1920s fixtures.
In Baltimore in the '70s, my friend Laura had a claw-foot bathtub in her living room. My friend David told us that if you filled it with fruit and painted the toenails red it would walk you to Brazil.
Yes, we tried it one night, when Laura ill-advisedly asked us to apartment-sit.
Luckily, they're got an awful lot of coffee in Brazil!
You can't get cherry soda 'cuz they've got to fill their quota.
I think a children's style book with illustrations is a good idea. It would be geared toward adults like one of those silly cat books. Just a little more disturbing. You should post a craig's list ad for illustrators to send you samples.
Why would you want to remove perfectly good glitter?
Good point.
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